Today we’re on our way to Milan for the day. We got up early and took the battello from Bellagio to Varenna to catch the train. We had tickets for a train that required a train change in Lecco, but at the Varenna train station, we found out that a direct train to Milan was arriving in minutes. It was earlier and easier, but it wasn’t the train we had tickets for. We hopped on anyway. Okay! We’re taking a train ride to Milano.
It’s all in your head (È tutto nella tua testa)
I had a scenario worked out in my head in case the conductor showed up and started questioning us. He’d be an old Italian guy. He’d look at our tickets and tell us in italian, “Voi sbagliate i biglietti.” (Rough translation: “You two knuckleheads are on the wrong train”).
I’d point to the word “Milano” on the tickets, shrug my shoulders and ask, “Theesa train no go to Milano?”
Then he’d say something like, “Sbagliate! Dovete scendere a Lecco!” (“You’re supposed to be on the train that stops in Lecco”).
And then, right on cue, my normally calm and demure Better Half would appear to lose her temper and start beating me severely about the head and shoulders, saying things like, “Dummkopf! Dummkopf!” rather than dealing with two hopeless foreigners like us, the conductor would just shake his head, hand us back our tickets, and go on his way.
The train itself was pretty old – not one of those gleaming ones I’d seen in Trenitalia advertisements. It chugged along at a pretty good clip, though. A light rain was falling as we rode along, looking out at Lago di Como on our right. With some luck we’d be in Milano in 90 minutes.
Milano Back in the Day
Milan, I mean, “Milano,” has been an important center of commerce for a long time. The Romans called it “Roma Seconda” – the second Rome. In the 6th century, when the Roman Empire was just about out of steam. A Germanic group called the Lombards invaded from the north and took Roma Seconda.
The Lombards stuck around, which is why this part of Italy is called Lombardy today. In the 8th century, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, invaded and kicked out the Lombards. Milano became an important destination in the Frankish Empire.
The Frankish empire was huge, encompassing much of today’s Europe. Its southernmost part – the northern half of today’s Italy – was decreed to be the “Kingdom of Italy.” Milan prospered and grew. The Milanese paved city streets and built a wall around the city.
In the 13th and 14th centuries, feudalism was in full swing. Powerful families battled each other on a regular basis. After hundreds of years of fighting for control of Milano, the Sforza family eventually won out.
The Conductor Arrives (Arriva il Conduttore)
Meanwhile, back on the train, the door behind us at the far end of the car opened briefly and closed. Someone had come in. I heard the sound of papers rustling. I took a quick peek behind us. Someone in a gray uniform standing in the middle of the aisle. The conductor had arrived.
I thought of the train scene in the movie, “The Great Escape” – the one where they were on the train. Seventy-six prisoners had escaped by tunneling out of a German prison camp. Now they were scattered across the countryside, trying to get out of Germany. Remember?
Some had managed to board trains. Five escapees were in the same car on one particular train. One of them was David McCallum. He had an edge because he spoke german. Plus, he was reading a German newspaper and looking very German-like.
The two guys I was thinking about were James Garner and Donald Pleasance. James Garner was “The Scrounger.” He could scrounge anything. Donald Pleasance was “The Forger.” He knew how to forge documents, but he was going blind. When Donald Pleasance was told that he couldn’t go on the escape because his blindness posed a risk, James Garner volunteered to take care of him so he could go.
Paypahz!
There they were, riding on the train when James Garner spotted the Gestapo making their way through the cars, checking ID’s and papers. You know how they did it… “Paypahz,” they’d say. Calmly at first. But then, “PAYPAHZ!”
Unfortunately for them, James Garner and Donald Pleasance didn’t look German or speak german. They were in a bad way. Their only chance was to jump for it. They rose and calmly made their way to the back of the train. They waited for just the right moment, and then they jumped!
To be continued…
Just for fun (Solo per divertimento)…
sbagliare — to make a mistake, screw up
i biglietti – the tickets, (un biglietto — a ticket)
arrivare — to arrive
conduttore — conductor
Dovete — You have to…, (Dovare — to have to… )
scendere — to get off
Dovete scendere dal treno. — You have to get off the train.
