It’s a beautiful night in Venice, Italy – a nice evening for a gondola ride. We’ve been negotiating with a gondolier. (Negotiations started here). It’s been tough going so far. I don’t want to be a cheapskate. Let’s just say the only ride I want to be taken for tonight is the one in the gondola.
But before we continue, let’s take a closer look at gondolas. There’s a lot more to ’em than you might think.
A Closer Look at a Gondola
Gondolas are impressive in pictures, but they’re even more impressive in person. They’re bigger than you’d expect. All gondolas are 36 feet long. Gondola builders follow a strictly enforced set of guidelines, right down to the types of wood used for each piece.
You can’t just go down to Luigi’s Sports Shop, buy a canoe, paint it black, and go into the gondola ride business. Every aspect of the gondola business is tightly regulated.
Gondolas are big, and the oar is big, too. A gondola oar is 14 feet long and weighs 11 pounds. Gondoliers use the oar to propel, turn, stop, and steer their craft. Venetian canals are too deep to use the oar as a pole. Everything is done with the oar interacting only with water.
If you’ve ever tried rowing a canoe with one oar, you know what many others have discovered – they don’t go straight. Put the oar in on the right side and pull. The boat turns to the right. Put it in on the left, the boat goes left. If you can get some speed up, you can alternate sides and wiggle your way forward, but chances are it won’t be pretty.
Gondoliers Have Serious Skills
The gondolier doesn’t have the option of using two oars. He’s one guy with one oar on one side of the gondola. He can’t alternate sides — the oar is too big. And he has to stand up, almost all the way towards the back end of the boat, to do his job.
Have you ever tried standing up in a canoe? Forget about being at one end. How about just standing up in the middle? You tried it? You got wet, didn’t you?
Imagine guiding a 36-foot-long craft down narrow canals without hitting the sides. How about stopping to make a 90-degree turn? Remember, you’re standing at the back of the boat, and the oar touches nothing but water.
I’d better stop this line of thought, or I’ll convince myself that our gondolier really does deserve the exorbitant price that I’m sure he’s about to wrangle out of me.
Back to Our Negotiations…
Let’s get back to the negotiations. Picking up where we left off, the gondolier had just reminded me that nighttime gondola rides are known to act as an aphrodisiac on the opposite sex. Let’s continue…
Me — “Hmmm, maybe you have point there. What’s the going rate for a ride?”
Gondolier — “Well, the normal rate for a 50-minute ride is 150 euros, but since you don’t want to spend too much, I’ll give you a deal: a 40-minute ride for 120 euros.”
Me — “Cough, cough.” Faintness. Weakness in the knees. Shortness of breath…
Gondolier — “That way you’ll save money and I’ll still get to see the last half of the soccer game.
Me — (Regaining consciousness). “I’m sorry. I must not have made myself very clear. I didn’t want to BUY the gondola — I just wanted to go for a little ride in it!”
Gondolier — “Ha ha! That’s a good one! You know, I like you. For you I would consider a ride of 40 minutes for only 115 euros.”
Me -– “Let’s say a 30-minute ride for 50 euros.”
Gondolier — “35 Minutes for 100 euros, even.”
Yikes. I admit that I wasn’t prepared to break the 100-euro mark to go for a ride in a gondola. But that’s just me.
I need a break here. Time to regroup. Let’s get back to the gondolas themselves.
Remember all those things that make it seem impossible for gondoliers to do what they do? Standing at the back of the boat, using just one oar to navigate Venice’s narrow canals? It’s the gondola’s unique design that makes it possible.
To be continued…
Note: Credit for the photo of gondolas in the Grand Canal at the top of this post: Saffron Blaze/Wikimedia Commons
